A Trip to the Theatre from my Sofa

A review of the live stream performance of 15 Heroines - The War by Jermyn Street Theatre

Has anyone else missed the theatre?

I haven’t seen anything live since last year and as an ex-drama student that saddens me.

Luckily, I was recommended a series of live performances by Jermyn Street Theatre that was relevant to my course and how could I justify not purchasing tickets?

The performances were called 15 Heroines and are based on Ovid’s poems The Heroines which are letters from women in ancient mythology. Each set of 5 pieces were split across three different nights and each were titled The Labyrinth, The Desert and The War.

Unfortunately, my lockdown bank balance does not sufficiently support my theatre needs and I was only able to attend one of the nights – The War 

I wish I could have ‘attended’ the other nights as each of these 15 Heroines had a monologue written by their own playwright so each style was different and they brought them into the contemporary in their own ways. Not only this, but these performances were about women, by women and for women, empowering all genders through all ages.

Own Private Love Island

Laodamia played by Sophia Eleni

Written by Charlotte Jones

 Context: I know it’s hard to believe, but our heroine, Laodamia, is actually in love with her husband, Protesilaus! Most of the other heroines are in unhappy, arranged marriages or mid messy break-up so these two are the lucky ones. To a certain extent… P (as Laodamia affectionately refers to him) has to fight in the Trojan war caused by the lovely yet divinely-bewitched Helen. There is a prophecy that the first Greek soldier to step foot on Trojan soil will be the first to die, and our heroine is urging her love to be a little less courageous and a little more selfish.

The stage is set with an unmade bed. It is messy and condensed as if she is taking up all the space for her and P, her exclusive world externalised for us to see. She is video-chatting with him which translates seamlessly to an audience watching a live-stream from their computer that they have then hooked up to their tv. Eleni, enters and she immediately has a vibe that is likeable and funny. She very much seems like a normal gal you would watch on Love Island – not one of the awful ones. She even likens her Mum to a Real Housewife which feels incredibly on brand as it is clear that they have money but there is something very relatable (and watchable) about her. There is a comedic way in which Jones presents the tragedy occurring. Laodamia has stopped dressing nicely or looking after herself since her husband has left which is quite upsetting but Eleni impersonates her Mum saying Laodamia* whilst she chastises her for no longer caring about her appearance. At first, I thought it was a bit of a cheesy and obvious way to begin these monologues of the strong women losing their husbands to a war but after re-reading the poem I realise that it does lend itself to this format. Jones has transitioned this from an ancient queen to contemporary reality star perfectly as you witness a young woman dramatically lament the absence of her boyfriend.

*Phonetically said: Lay-Oh-Dar-Me-Ah. She has a more common accent than the rest of the cast so imagine she really emphasises the DAR as if Catherine Tate is saying this

The Cost of Red Wine

Oenone played by Ann Ogbomo

Written by Lettie Precious

Context: Oenone, a mountain-nymph, was Paris’ first wife. Paris left her for Helen (yes her again!) who was a gift/bribe from Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love, after he announced her the winner of a beauty contest – oh the pettiness of Ancient Greek Gods. Ovid’s poem was a letter from Oenone to Paris but in the play he has come to collect his belongings after he has remarried and caused a war.

The set is less naturalistic this time with Ogbomo stood in front of a curtain that has a grey-green, distorted light projected onto it, giving the impression of a rocky mountainside. A mixture of metallic grinding and whispers played whilst she glared. She walks forwards to a collection of boxes and addresses an absent Paris. Ogbomo was an exhilarating balance of loud and quiet, angry and sad. We were shown a nymph who, despite not being human, was just as relatable as our previous queen. Precious riddles this character with insecurities as she compares herself to Helen, the most beautiful woman in Ancient times! Imagine if you partner left you for Beyonce – that is the equivalent of what she has to deal with here. We may live in a world of constant comparison now, especially with social media, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t always exist and Precious picks up on this. Oenone is insecure about her skin colour and makes a joke that she has the best red wine but then despairingly asks ‘Do you like white wine now?”. There was an excellent parallel here as you have the comparison of the wine metaphors to the actress’ skin colour and also the fact that, as a nymph, she actually has green skin all of which do not measure up to the fair-skinned Helen. She even refers to her magazine and shows an article that gets rid of green which is comparable to skin-lightening products sold nowadays. It is an excellent comparison of the beauty standards of today and the feelings of inadequacy that women feel then and today.

Perfect Myth Allegory

Briseis played by Jemima Rooper

Written by Abi Zakarian

Context: During the Trojan War Briseis is captured by the Greeks and is awarded to Achilles for basically being the best soldier. However, Agamemnon (who is one of the most powerful kings in this army) decides he want to wave his willy around and assert his power, demanding that he shall have her instead which is a great insult to Achilles. Ovid and Zakarian have both recentred Briseis into this story as she was taken from her home and family, her tragedy simply being put down to a consequence of war.

The camera is framed tight around the white dressing table of Briseis. She is alone with a glass of champers wearing a meringue of a wedding dress. As she takes off her earrings and big, false eyelashes she reveals that this look isn’t very her, but it is what her mother would have wanted. You feel sorry for the lonely figure who is told that she needs to Smile! It might never happen or Smile! You look much prettier when you do as she recalls each expression that she, and almost every woman, hate to hear. As she takes off her veil she also takes the bleached blonde wig from her head which starts to give the audience the idea that all is not what it seems to be with her. As she stands up the camera zooms out and reveals that she is pregnant! She takes off her wedding dress and, as the camera pans, we see the feet of a dead body on the floor which is revealed as belonging to Achilles. This performance, with all its surprise reveals, worked the best as a stream as, if it was onstage, they wouldn’t have been able to obscure these things from a whole audience. Zakarian has made Briseis a more self-conscious narrator as she comments on the tradition of Greeks telling stories verbally which immediately made me relate her monologue to a muse beginning the epic poetry of the Illiad or Odyssey. She commented on herself as powerful and not really a woman in love. It was not about the man but about her and her child, the story and the legacy she could leave behind for them – legacy being very important to Greeks as your descendants and history are indicative of who you are. Your parents are a story about you. In this version she seems to assume her agency, addressing the dead body of Achilles with relish and leaving on her own accord. She has the freedom to tell her own story and exit as she pleases rather than being the sex slave of two men.

Will you?

Hermione played by Rebekah Murrel

Written by Sabrina Mahfouz

Context: Hermione is the daughter of Helen and Menelaus. Whilst they are off causing the Trojan War, Hermione is promised to Orestes, son of Agamemnon and also her cousin. The two were likely to be very close as children and, when betrothed to each other, were no doubt thankful that they could tolerate each other and cousinly love devolved into lovers. However, during the war Menelaus promises his daughter to the son of Achilles, Neoptolemus, as a reward and Hermione is unhappy that her absent parents are making lifelong decisions for her. Orestes has also killed his Mother, Clytemnestra, to avenge his father who she killed. In Ovid, Hermione addresses Orestes but in this she addresses the police.

The curtain is, again, a backdrop for the stage with the projection and noise opening the scene. There is a bare, white table and chair in front of it which Murrel, as a fierce-looking Hermione strides over to sipping nonchalantly from a takeaway coffee cup. She wears a long, grey coat with a black hood up and her face is interrupted by a deep, black stripe across her eyes. Hermione looks like someone you don’t fuck with. Contrary to the way she looks, we learn that Hermione is a bit like many rebellious teenagers that has been let down by absent parents. She wants to run away from them but the world is too big and scary for a girl completely on her own. It made me chuckle when announced gravely that she has never even washed herself but, whether it’s an Ancient Greek or a Londoner, if a child is forced to grow up too quickly then they are often not given the tools to properly cope with life. She is angry and helpless. As Murrel begins to roll a cigarette she considers her current position – married to a man she doesn’t love whilst the man she does is wanted for murder. A thought occurs to her that if Orestes is willing to kill his mother then perhaps he won’t mind sorting out her husband too and that way they can be together. I thought this was incredibly well written from Mahfouz as it seemed to be an elegy of lost childhoods, then and now. There is an element of sadness that surrounds this piece as you consider the little girl that never grew up, the dysfunctional love of her cousin being the only love she ever has or ever will know.

Waiting for the Grass to Grow

Penelope Played by Gemma Whelan

Written by Hannah Khalil

Context: Penelope is the wife of Odysseus, protagonist of the aptly named Odyssey. He went away for the Trojan war for ten years but, through a series of disastrous consequences caused by the Gods, his homecoming has been delayed… By another ten years. In this piece, the war has only just ended and husbands are starting to return home but not Penelope’s, not just yet.

The set is a workbench that has various materials and dressmaker’s tools strewn over it . There is the noise of seagulls, a lawnmower and a moo. Ithaca, where they rule, is a rocky, agricultural island and I’m guessing Khalil has represented this as a countryside manor and grounds which Penelope has to help maintain in her husband’s absence (a lot of responsibility). I have to say I was looking forward to the Penelope monologue the most and I was left with a dark cloud of disappointment raining down on me and my sofa. It’s probably because I had such high expectations that I was left deflated. I have studied The Odyssey in depth and have read a lot around it, and therefore Penelope too. Each version of Penelope that I have read has served to build up an idea of her in my mind. After a few days I shook away my expectations and thought back to the performance. Khalil depicts her as a bored, ignored housewife which I agree with and I enjoyed the contemporary translation of constantly looking out to sea for her husband’s ship as being the equivalent of checking your phone every five minutes to see if he has text. To be honest this version is more accurate than this fleshed-out heroine I have in my head. I think maybe part of the problem was that I’m thinking of an older Penelope at the end of The Odyssey who is an older, wiser woman waiting for her husband. This was a mildly irritated, earlier version of my Penelope. Her independence and ability to run a kingdom and raise a son alone is often ignored and I thought this same problem occurred in this performance. However, she is known as a model for virtue and we see Whelan be fiercely protective over a lawn that Odysseus should be mowing and not a male neighbour.  Her loyalty and loneliness shine through as well as she shares the fact that she has been washing his favourite sheets every day so that they will be clean for him when he returns. In Ovid’s poem Penelope often mentions that she is lonely in their bed as she does not share it with anyone else - I suppose after 20 years of your partners absence you’d be rather keen to get them into bed asap too!

Even though I wasn’t in a real theatre, I did still feel like I had that shared experience of watching something with an audience and I think Jermyn Street Theatre did an incredible job despite the obstacles.

If you are able to, then please do support your theatres too as the arts are one of the industries being hit the hardest. We are all trying to survive so let’s all do what we can to help.

Credit to Jermyn Street Theatre Facebook for the photos.